可能没啥比被甩更悲催了，但是甩人的一方感觉可能也好不到哪儿去。其实，分手对当事人双方来讲都不那么容易，但是如果你要甩了你的那个TA，还是有方法减轻你俩的痛苦的，情感专家给指出了几条光明大道。
Tell the truth — but don’t be cruel
温柔点儿，讲真话
如果你想结束一段恋情，你应该给对方一个解释。自纽约的心理治疗师、《分手圣经》的作者瑞秋·苏斯曼说道：
The people that I see who have the hardest time after a breakup, it’s because they don’t understand. Your reason shouldn’t shock the other person, because you’ve discussed it in the past and tried to work through it
在我看来，人们在分手后最大的痛苦在于他们想不明白为什么分手。理论上，提出分手一方的理由不该使对方感到震惊，因为在决定分手前你们应该为此争执过，并且想过要去修复。
纽约的心理治疗师、《如何修复破碎的心》的作者盖·卫恩齐强调：
you should give a reason, but stresses that a breakup isn’t license to unload all of your pent-up complaints and snide comments — even if the other person says they want to hear them. Find the one thing, because that might be useful for them [to know].Listing every last annoyance isn’t productive and will only drag out what’s likely to be a painful conversation.
分手的重点不是释放你一直压抑着的怨言和尽情地讽刺对方，哪怕对方表示会接受你的“发泄”。找出一件能够使对方理解的、具体的事儿来说明白。无休止的抱怨毫无益处，反而会使痛苦的交谈没完没了。
It’s also important to choose your words carefully. “Phrase something as, ‘This bothers me,’ or ‘This really was difficult for me,'” instead of blaming the other person, Winch says. What you feel is terrible isn’t always objectively terrible, he says — just bad for you.
谨慎措辞也很重要。不要只是责备对方，可以试着这样说：“这让我困扰”或“这对我来说真的很难”。你感觉很糟糕的事儿并不一定很糟糕，可能只是你的感觉而已。
Finally, resist the urge to soften the blow with platitudes. Saying, “‘We can be friends,’ or ‘Now’s not a good time for me,’ all sound like, well, maybe in the future” things could work out. Don’t imply that’s the case if it’s not.
最后，抑制住说善意谎言的冲动。别试图用“我们以后还可以做朋友”或者“目前我的状态不适合谈恋爱”这种话来给对方无谓的希望。如果以后再无可能，就不要给对方任何暗示。
Do it face-to-face
面对面，说清楚
对于确立关系的伴侣来说，私下、面对面谈分手（in-person breakups）是最体贴和成熟的方式（mature option）。
If it’s in public, they might be distraught, and then they have to somehow get home, which is horrible. The best place to do it is in their home, not yours, he adds, so you can leave if the situation gets too drawn out, and so that they’re in a familiar place.
如果在公众场合，被甩的一方情绪会比较容易失控，这种情况下再独自回家是比较危险的。谈这类问题最好的地方就是在对方家里，而不是你的家里，这样如果谈得不太顺畅你可以离开，而对方也是在自己熟悉的地方。
there are a few exceptions to the face-to-face rule, Winch says. Most importantly, if you fear for your safety in any way, you should keep your distance. Aside from that, a phone-based breakup may be okay if you’re dating long-distance, or if you’ve only seen each other a few times. For very new dating situations that have only lasted a date or two, you can even get away with a text.
不过“面对面”原则也有几种例外的情况。最重要的是，如果你担心自身的安全，你还是应该与对方保持距离。除此以外，如果是异地恋，或者彼此只见过几面，电话分手也是可行的。如果只是刚刚开始的恋情、只见过一两次面，那么短信分手也不是不可以。
But even if you’ve only been on one date, it’s always better to be upfront, rather than ghosting. He even recommends writing out a boilerplate message — something along the lines of, “Thank you, it was fun, but I didn’t feel a romantic connection” — and keeping it on hand for those situations.
但是，哪怕你们只约会过一次，给对方一个交代比玩“消失”要好得多，哪怕只是写一些类似“谢谢你，和你一起挺开心的，不过还是没什么心动的感觉”之类的客套话。
Be sure
说再见，就再见
All too often, the person who ends a relationship has second thoughts once the deed is done, which only makes for a messy, painful situation. “Spend some time soul-searching, journaling, talking to a really good friend or family member or talking to a relationship specialist” to get your thoughts in order.
很多时候，提出分手的一方会在分手后又改变主意，这会使情况变得更糟，更让人痛苦。先花些时间去反省、回顾、与挚友亲人或情感专家沟通，理清思绪。
While it may feel uncomfortable to carry on the relationship while you make up your mind, it’s a necessary evil. Everyone who wants to break up, every single person, does not voice that the minute they think it. They have to process it and be sure and be ready. That’s how it works.
当你已经打定主意后，再继续保持关系会很煎熬，虽然不希望伤害别人，但这是一个必经过程。每一个想分手的人，不会在冒出这个念头的第一时间就说出来。他们都要考虑一番，确定自己要分手，并做好准备。一般都是这样操作的。
Once you’ve resolutely decided to end things, however, you shouldn’t delay the conversation or prematurely act like you’re single. The dumbest thing people do is get involved with other people before their relationship is over. They just want to have a plan B. It can also be to create distance, maybe even on some level of wanting to get caught. If you’re involved with someone and the contract is exclusivity and monogamy, to cheat on that person is the most hurtful thing.
一旦你确定要结束一段关系，就不要再拖拖拉拉不提分手，也别过早地向全世界宣布自己是单身。最愚蠢的事儿就是‘骑驴找马’。有的人总是想给自己留条后路。有的人还会刻意制造距离，甚至盼着被对方发现自己的背叛。爱情是具有排他性的，欺骗是对他人最大的伤害。
专家说了这么一些“大道理”和分手策略，具体到了分手时，具体该怎么说呢？ 我们来看看五种情形下的表达吧？
(1)分手 break up/parting/leave-taking/split up
My girlfriend had broken up with me. 我的女朋友已跟我分手了。
They parted with reluctance. 他们依依不舍地分手了。
Her parting words left him feeling empty and alone. 她分手时说的话让他感觉空虚孤独。
To be leave-taking, but I need more patience. 即将告别，但还需要忍耐。
I split up with my boyfriend last year. 我去年和男友分手了。
To this end I have a quarrel with him several times, and he wants to split up. 为此我已经和他吵架几次了，都想和他分手了。
（2）别再联系了。
Don’t call me any more. 以后别再打给我了。
I don’t think we should see each other anymore. 我想我们以后不要再见面了。
If we don't talk for a while. 我们这段时间不要联系了。
I'll get in touch after they release me. 请不要与我联系和发短信。
（3）劈腿？有小三？外遇？
He is having an affair. 他在搞外遇。
He is seeing her behind your back. 他背着你偷偷跟她约会。
He is not finished with his ex. 他对他前女友余情未了。
Finally you can cheat on me, huh? 你终于有机会劈腿了，哈？
（4） 借酒消愁愁更愁？
I believe in the saying of drinking down sorrow. 我相信借酒消愁的说法。
He got disappointed by my repeated wrongdoings and began to drown his worries in drink. 我一次次的折腾简直令他失望了，终日泡在酒中，借酒消愁。
He sought escape in the bottle from hard realities. 他常常借酒消愁来逃避残酷的现实。
Henry was inclined to seek solace in drink. 亨利往往借酒消愁。
（5）我们不合适。
I need some time alone. 我需要一个人过一阵子。
You know, I've been thinking, and I don't think it's working out between us. 是这样，我一直在想，我觉得我们是不合适的。
You're too good for me. 我配不上你。
Just go away and leave me be. 你走吧，让我一个人静静。
You deserve a better man/woman. 你应该找个更好的对象。